It is a friendly, gentle name which reminds me of bread and the fact that city life would in many ways not be possible without country life. I know it seems a heavy way to name a plush, thinking about those things. But I live thoughtfully. So that's that.
It would be nice to be more carefree but I am not made that way. I will be carefree at times, but I will have to make that choice carefully. So I guess that may defeat the purpose of being carefree.
Anyway, I am learning to accept myself properly. This is not like merely conceding my own weaknesses grudgingly; but instead letting them wash over me like waves crash against rocks on the seashore. The main difference being that I will not be worn down. I will instead be allowing the weaknesses to exist for they are a part of me. I am going to let them flow and not try so hard to avoid them or stop them. I will grow stronger and be able to defeat my weaknesses one day, All of my life until now I have felt desperate, as if trying to stop waves with my bare hands, and always upset and frustrated when I mess up. Failure is the only option in this case. A mortal cannot defeat the ocean alone!
But now I can release myself from that burden. Thank you God!
Now all I have to do is try to relax more.
... how can I do that...? I will have to think about it.
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