A little free advertising

educatedguesser.blogspot.com
Hey, I forgot to post this nice girl Lauren's URL.
She said such an encouraging thing to me. I had a read of her blog and it is so mature. Way food-for-thought!
=^.^=
But also I wanted to say that my friend Diana has a blog too.
Here is the URL: smilegodlovesyou.blogspot.com
That should work.

And I wanted to post my Summer poem, version 2.

Summer v2

Children playing with the hose in their underwear
Squealing and running about all wet
The feeling of ice melting numbly on your hot tongue
Water on your hot flushed face
The glaring sun
Heat haze rising off the ground
Cool breezes, mirages
Sweaty hair pushed out of the way
The smell of sunscreen
The greasy feeling
How cold it is on your neck and back!
The itchy bites on your legs from bugs
The smell of the sunscreen and insect repellent
The buzzing of the bees and wasps around you
The smell of fresh flowers growing
And newly cut grass
The sound of the lawnmower
The sound of the wind rustling the trees and grass
Eating strawberries, squashy and warm from the sun
Mmmmm, the juice squirts out as you bite the soft pulpy fruit
The pits are too small to get in your teeth
Eating an orange, getting it all over you, spitting out pips onto the ground
Sticky and uncomfortable
Wash off the juice
Then ice cream!
It is so hot you have to eat quickly
Or it’ll melt and run all over you
Oh dear
A milky sticky lukewarm stream runs all down your hand
Wiping it up makes it worse
You have to wash yourself again
The sun makes the top of your head burn
You should wear a hat
And sunglasses
The sun glares and it hurts your eyes
But the sky is such a deep, clear, breathless blue today
Small fluffy white clouds drift about aimlessly
They look like popcorn
People splashing and swimming in pools,
Children shouting, crying, laughing all over the place
Dogs racing about barking
The ground is hot, you need to wear shoes or you’ll get burnt feet
But the white concrete is cool and lovely on bare feet
Sit under a tree, it’s cool and comfortable
Lean your back up against the rough bark
Listen to the leaves rustle to each other
The sun dapples you with light in splotches
The flowers are blooming around, attracting butterflies
Monarchs with orange and black, soar lazily over and around obstacles
Cabbage butterflies, white with small black spots, flutter about in a hurry
Just like people
Some rush, some take their time
You watch everything
It’s summer and these longer days seem endless right now,
With you sitting on the grass, under a shady tree.
Lie back on the grass and stare at the blue sky
Such a perfect endlessly smooth shade
Clouds skim past pushed by the impatient wind
They collide with each other and merge to make bigger clouds
A sunshower
Pattering fat raindrops out from the perfect blueness of the sky fall on you
Taste them on your tongue
They taste heavy somehow, but fresh
The ground opens up and it smells wetter
The air around you tastes expectant, excited
It is wonderful

That's all I wanted to say.
God Bless!
Bye!

Summertime, a monologue.

Ah, I love summer. But I had forgotten how much I loved it.
I always forget everything. I forget summer until it comes back. I forget winter unless it is winter. I forget pain until it comes back. I forget tastes of things and textures, smells. I forget tunes and people's faces. I forget everything, basically.
But yes, until it is summer, I always forget how much I LOVE IT!!!!

I love everything about summer here. The smells, the warm air, and hot sun, getting tanned...
I love the way I can usually lose some weight.
The way I can just sit and warm my bones.
The way that water seems friendlier somehow, I can't explain that. Even my skin feels different.
I love the happiness in the air, the lazy happiness. I love that it's Christmas soon.
Summer- Te quiero mucho!
Natsu ga daisuki!
I love the smells the most, I think.
When it rains, and the warm earth sends this amazing scent up, and when its very hot, the flowers send all their beautiful perfumes across the whole country.
Or so it feels.
And the cool breezes. The grass, the light!
When I was a child, every February or so (the month of my birthday), we used to go strawberry picking as a family. Sometimes we also picked nectarines, boysenberries, blackberries or mandarins. Mostly strawberries. I love fresh strawberries, just picked, red, soft, warm and juicy. They aren't too sweet, either. When people make jams and sauces, they add so much sugar. But strawberries aren't supposed to be too sweet.

I had a wonderful childhood. I never realised. I was very selfish. In fact, I still am. But of course I am learning not to be. Slowly...
Aside from school, which I always hated and always will, I had a lovely time, playing with my friends, and my toys.
But what I really loved was our family outings.
We went everywhere. It didn't really matter where. Cost wasn't the thing as much as new discoveries with my family nearby.
We went to parks, to the zoo, to the aquarium, to restarants. My parents had money and they spent it on us. We got new toys all the time. We weren't rich, although everyone thought we were, and I got picked on at school for that a tiny bit.
We were well-off, but sometimes mum and dad would say that we had to 'be careful' and that meant we couldn't have new things for a while. But soon enough we could do anything again.
I remember so many wonderful times, but two that stick in my mind (besides fruit picking) are that for a while, we went through a phase where every Saturday morning, mum would send dad down to the local bakery to buy raisin buns and we would have sweet-glazed raisin buns for breakfast.
The other one is when we had had dinner and my sister and I were playing quietly when mum came up to us with a gleam in her eye. We looked up when she said, 'Let's go out to get icecream!' We often did this, went to different places in Auckland city. But this time, we asked where we were going and our parents said 'It's a surprise.'
We drove and drove, and I realised. 'We're going to Pokeno!' I cried, and my sister squealed excitedly. Pokeno was a place roughly half-way between Auckland and Hamilton. The dairy there always gave very big icecreams for a cheap price. We often got icecream when passing through to visit my aunt in Hamilton, but we had never been at night before. Until this time.
It was so wonderful and exciting. Then, about half-way home, mum said, 'Shall we go back and get another one?' So we did.
I remember eating my mother's baking. It was lovely! Nobody makes cheese straws or cheese scones like my mother. She made meals all the time. I loved it!
I remember eating pork crackling with my father. You used to be able to buy it in cute little packets, all dried and crunchy, like potato chips. It's the only way I have ever liked pork crackling. I always think of my father when I smell or see pork crackling.

I am very grateful to my parents for giving me such an idyllic childhood.
I have never told them this. But I think I will.
I was very lucky that they had the money and they enjoyed spending it on us girls.
I want very much to do the same for my family if and when I have one.
But enough about that.

I have to go now. I just wanted to enthuse about summer.
God Bless You.
And money is there to be spent!

My Cat

My cat's name is Grayce, or Graycie.
I like her a lot, even though she is pushy and neurotic.
I suppose I like her because she likes me, and thinks that I am worth being pushy and neurotic with.
She hates everyone.
Even now, if I move too fast, she runs. I think she has had a tough life. Unfortunately, this is partly my fault...
We had 9 cats and they all picked on her, she hid all day until meal times, and then I had to make sure she ate because the others pushed her away. It was awful for her but frankly, I didn't care. She wasn't the cutest, bravest, sweetest or smartest. She didn't really count at all. I am sorry I treated her that way.
Then a lot of the other cats either died or ran away. The 3 left were my cat Grayce, my sister's cat Simba and dad's cat Toby.
I moved into a flat and took Graycie with me. Her personality blossomed almost immediately. She is still insanely neurotic, but now she sits on my lap and acts affectionate whenever I watch tv. I have to sit up and put my arms on my knees to keep her off, or say 'No!' sternly, or she insists. If she feels stubborn, she will deliberately climb under or over my arms to sit on me anyway, and meow at me warningly if I try to stop her.
She hates strangers most of the time. Anyway I am sorry I mistreated her by ignoring her. I am just glad she still likes me. She was definitely meant to be an 'only cat'.
I guess I feel guilty because I love cats and I love it when they are no trouble and love you right back. Graycie doesn't fit that mold. But she still loves me, or she would have taken off to find someone else by now.
She follows me around the house and when I am in the shower, she gets agitated because she thinks that water is bad, so she tries to get me to come out.
When I hang out the washing, she insists on accompanying me to the garden and she waits until I am done, then she escorts me back inside.
She occasionally licks my cheek or nose or hand, but mostly she snudges me. You know, rubs her face on me.
If I have the tv volume up too loud, she complains. If I have the radio or computer music volume up too loud, she will also complain.
Oh, I better tell you what she looks like.
She is small but a bit shaggy, because she is a grey long-haired cat, with a small pointy face and deep set green eyes. She looks like she's glaring at you all the time, but she isn't, her eyes are just a bit hidden in her fur. She has a tiny white smudge on her chest.
She has a loud, complaining kind of voice which she often uses. I can never tell if she is scared, sad, angry or insistent. I meow back a lot, mostly mocking her because she never shuts up.
Anyway.... thats enough of her for now. I will try to take a pic to post of her.

God Bless!

Matthew 24

From Bible.com, KJV.

Matthew 24

'1 And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple.
2 And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.'

He was right about that. The temple has been destroyed. But the wailing wall is left, so I'm not sure if it will also be torn down in the future, or not.

'3 And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?'

I also want to know! I thirst dreadfully to know what will happen, so that I can be prepared. I don't want to be left behind!

'4 And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.
5 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.'

Now this has happened already I think, but nothing that has been noticed worldwide, as far as I know. Nobody has been taken seriously. I met a guy who claimed he was JC, but I think he may have been joking... or a bit short upstairs.

'6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.
7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in diverse places.
8 All these are the beginning of sorrows.'

Firstly, yes, all those things have happened, many times over since JC went to heaven.
And verse 8, the beginning of sorrows? Man, that is a bit spine-chilling.

'9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.'

I don't want that to happen! But I don't want to give up my faith, I can't help but wish that I can just cruise through life. However, many people have died for Jesus, and if I have to, I hope they kill me quick so I don't chicken out. I don't know if I have the guts to stand up and be counted when the time comes to choose or die... I can only ask God for the strength.

'10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.'

That is in the church and in the world.
Churches always squabble. And worldly people hate each other anyway.
After all, to many people, being a Christian is just like being in a club. But it's not, and it doesn't make you any better than anyone else.
It's like you were blind and suddenly could see, but everyone else around you is still blind, and they think that you think you're better than they are, but you know you aren't.
It's not that easy, you don't just become perfect at the drop of a hat. If anything, it's worse to be a Christian because you see things you didn't want to see before, you have to look and you can no longer ignore the things that were easier to ignore before.
It's harsher than people think.
Maybe I sound too proud, like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders, but it's not like that. You can't be proud in anything but God because you understand how dirty you are. It's quite a shock.
Of course there are good feelings too, but in order to be happy you have to understand how sad you are, and deal with that first. Anyway, get off the podium Rebekah... sorry!

'11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.'

Oh man, don't get me started! Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, many others, them healers are trouble. They seem straight at first. But then when you read their stuff you see they are making things up. Like, Benny Hinn said that originally women were supposed to give birth out of their sides... Whatever! I could tell you more, but you should decide for yourself. I just think they are wrong, and have lead people astray.
Anyway, I already started going on about how a lot of people look to the preacher and not to God. That can go to your head, you know. Why wouldn't it? If you were a pastor or preacher, and popular. People always being nice to you, asking your advice, asking you to help them, pray for them, bless their house, bless their family, heal them etc.

'12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.'

What does that mean? Hmm, well I think it means that because so many people sleep around and have many 'partners', love will be much sought after, and hard to find or keep. Oh, wait, that has already been happening! Maybe this Jesus guy is RIGHT??????
How awful though. For your love to wax cold... an empty heart, desperate for the warmth of love, and never finding it, seeking solace in sex.
I won't let that happen to me.
If that is you and you are reading this, maybe you need to give up on the sex thing, it will never work out. Anyway, the older and uglier you get, the less you're going to get, (for free anyway) lets face facts here. The world is pretty shallow.
I myself am a virgin and I intend to save myself for my husband. If God doesn't want me to get married, I will not be bitter. Most relationships look so hard and full of heartache anyway.

'13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.'

I am not too sure about this bit. Because I am not too sure if I am going to be taken away before the tribulations really start or not.
I haven't decided on my belief about that yet. I'm working towards my decision.
Whether I am pre-trib or post-trib.
This means, do I believe I will be taken away by Jesus before the terrible troubles listed in revelation, or do I think that I will have to suffer with everyone else for a while (3 and 1/2 years is the popular hope, half the time, the tribulations are apparently going to be for 7 years) and then be taken?
Anyway, I might die before the tribulations happen. I cannot be sure.
So many people argue this over and over, and try to prove their points but I cannot choose yet.
A lot of people say that it doesn't really matter, but I think it does.
If you are at home and your parents are out, you know they will come home one day, so you want to know when, so you can be ready. Clean up and so forth.
That's my philosophy.

'14 And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.'

Wellll..... this is also tricky. I don't know whether the gospel of JC has been preached to the ends of the earth yet. It may have been, but I can guarantee that out there, some people don't yet know about God.

'15 When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:) '

Now, this could mean three things.
Firstly, it could mean what's going on now, which is that the Palestinians are using the site of God's House, ie, His old temple site, to worship Allah. (Some people say that God and Allah are the same person, but I don't, so let's skip that whole argument right there.)

Or it could mean that the antichrist will set himself up there as the ruler of the world, and demand that everyone worship him. Actually its possible the antichrist might be female... but probably not.

Or it could mean something else. The popular belief is the antichrist one. But I myself am not yet decided.

'16 Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:
17 Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:
18 Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.'

Ok, pretty straightforward. Everyone who is Israeli, get outta there, head for the hills to hide.
Don't waste ANY time, get outta the cities. So the moral of that is, be ready. Have a backpack with stuff in it ready to grab as soon as you hear anything. Thats what I would do.

'19 And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!
20 But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:'

Basically He is saying that it will be very tough on you. It'll be very hard for women with babies and pregnant women. And you better hope it's not winter or on the sabbath. Winter because its cold, (duh) and sabbath because you aren't supposed to work on the sabbath day according to Jewish law.

'21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.'

Hard times ahead, basically. Gives me the willies. And I'm not even Jewish.

'22 And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.'

Here this is tricky. He is saying, 'If we didn't shorten this time, everyone would die, but because of the chosen ones, we shortened the time.'
I am one of the chosen. If you are a Christian, you are too! Yay!!!! If you aren't, you need to become one. Anyone can join, as long as they abide by His rules. Don't be left behind!

'23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.
24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.'

Now these verses are very heartening for me. They help me to take courage in my beliefs. You see, a lot of Christians do believe in the healing evangelists, and I distrust them, I never knew why, and I still do not really know why. I just get this bad feeling. It guides me. I'm not saying all of them are bad, but most seem to be, unfortunately.
Anyway Jesus is saying, 'Don't believe what men say, if they say that Christ has come.' He wants us to wait for Him to talk to us, and show Himself.
Further on in the Bible somewhere it says that when Jesus comes, everyone will know, everyone on the whole earth, there will be no doubt.
Jesus also says that there will be people saying they are Him, and there will be false prophets, and they will show signs and wonders. They might even deceive some Christians. I always mistrust 'miracles' performed on tv or publicly. It seems to me that God wouldn't want to advertise Christianity as a faith of signs and wonders, and miracle cures. Thats not what He wants us to expect. Chritianity is about saving your soul more than anything else.

'25 Behold, I have told you before.
26 Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.'

In other words, don't look for Jesus on the earth, He isn't there, He will be in the sky when He comes, and you will know for sure, without doubt. Don't listen to others.

'27 For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.'

He's coming out of nowhere, and fast too, basically.
Nobody can say where He will show up.

'28 For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.'

This is a controversial verse. I have been told it means that we, the chosen, will be watching the tribulation from the sky, with Jesus, like eagles hovering over a dying person, and when the sinners die, we get the spoils. But I don't think that sounds very nice, somehow. I have a feeling it might be something else. However, I do not know what.

Let's leave it at that for now.
Hope I didn't freak you out.
God bless you!

Found a neat blog!

http://onemillionfootnotes.blogspot.com/

Go there, he paints the loveliest word pictures.
I like to paint word pictures but I'm not too good at it.

I wrote this poem a while ago.

Moonlit Night

The silver light plays on silken sea,
Under somber skies and it pleases me.
The reddened clay and the whitened sand
Mix together like the sea and the land.
I look to the north and I look to the south
I taste the salt upon my mouth.
The clouds they float and the wind it blows,
And over it all, the moon it glows.
The waves are strewn with a pretty filigree
Of frothy foam, and it all pleases me.

Here is an extract from my diary.

"I have depression. It makes things very hard sometimes. I can’t seem to get motivated; I’m often tired, sad, depressed, I cry at stupid things, or for no reason, just dissolve into tears standing in the bus queue. It's embarrassing and hard to explain when you do that, so I spend most of my time stressing over whether I can control my emotions in public.

In class I sometimes panic inside or want to scream and cry over a simple failure of a test. It used to be the same at work. I couldn’t seem to remember things and I would stress out and cry over mistakes or reprimands. I’m getting better every day, and one day I shall not remember feeling like this, I hope. I’m sorry if I get you down, but too bad. This is reality.

Its harder, or perhaps only seems harder for me to learn and remember and study than it is for others. But I have a feeling that I just haven't figured out how to study and learn properly.

I used to think I was disabled or something, because I couldn’t explain a few things I’d said or done. I’d have to say ‘I don’t know’ because I didn’t know. People did (and sometimes still do) get impatient or angry with me when I can’t decide on something quick enough or think of the answer in time.
They might understand if I told them but I don’t know. I know its ok, I know I’m going to get better, but they don’t know that and they might not believe me. They might be afraid of me. I’d hate to see that. Pity is ok, it’s a bit humiliating but fear… no I don’t want people to think I’m crazy. Because I’m not crazy. I just know it in my heart."

All that still stands.
I tend to panic when confronted, and I hate change. It rocks my entire world. I cry more than other people I think, but this year I have been quite good. I have written a lot of stories and poems, painted some pictures. Most of them were absolute crap but they all got rid of some of my anger. I'm an artist, but I am not that good. However that doesn't mean I am not an artist.

I still can't understand why I am so angry. It's always there, underneath. It flares up very quickly. One day I want to find out why I get so angry. I have a sneaking suspicion why it is, but I might be wrong.
Thats enough now, I think.

God bless!

Japanese lessons with Tensai-sensei!

Konnichi wa.
Today you will receive a lesson in Japanese from me.

Most of my lesson materials come from About.com's Japanese language section, resided over by the very personable and efficient Abe Namiko san. (Or Namiko Abe if you are western)
Here is the URL: http://japanese.about.com/

Today's lesson is; Shopping!

Firstly, I shall teach you some common words.

Sweater: Setaa
Money: Okane
Pants/Trousers: Zubon
Womens underwear: Zurosu
Shoes: Kutsu
Socks: Kutsu-shita
Bra: Buraja
Bag: Kaban or Baagu
Dress: Doresu or Wanpiisu
Clothes: Fuku
Western clothes: Yofuku
Japanese clothes: Wafuku
Shirt: Shaatsu
Blouse: Burausu
T shirt: Tii-shaatsu
Lipstick: Kuchi-beni
Mascara: Masukara
Wallet: Saifu
Glasses: Megane
Sunglasses: Sangurasu
Business suit: Sebiro
Men's underwear: Shita-baki or Zubon-shita
Make-up: Kesho-hin
Perfume: Kosui

Now, onto the lesson!

When you go into a Japanese shop or restaurant, a person will probably say (or in many cases call or shout) 'Irasshaimase!'
Do not say 'Arigatou' (Thank you) or anything in reply, or you look like a dork, as I have before.
They are supposed to say that to you, it's like when you say 'Have a nice day' to someone. It means 'Welcome!'.
However, you should not use it to say it to anyone. Unless you also work in the shop or restaurant. It's purely a polite word, to be ignored. However people have yelled it at me so loudly or suddenly that I have jumped and once I actually gave a sort of scream. So BE AWARE! Be prepared for the 'Irasshaimase!'

Here are a few common phrases in shopping.

First what the assistants or ten'in might ask you.

'Nanika osagashi desu ka?'
May I help you?

'Ikaga desu ka.'
How do you like it?

'Kashikomarimashita.'
Certainly.

'Omatase itashimashita.'
Sorry to have kept you waiting.

Then some quick phrases for you to use.

'Kore wa ikura desu ka?'
How much is this?

'Mite mo ii desu ka?'
Can I look at it?

'~ wa doko ni arimasu ka?'
Where is ~?

'~ (ga) arimasu ka?'
Do you have ~?

'~ o misete kudasai.'
Please show me ~.

'Kore ni shimasu.'
I'll take it.

'Miteiru dake desu.'
I'm just looking.

Thats all for now. For more, go to the above URL at About.com. Great place, that. I love it!
Please don't sue me for using your stuff, guys! I referred everyone back to where I got it!

God bless you.
:)

Isn't this cat so cute? I got this image from www.rateyourkitten.com

Religon and blogs

Good morning.

This is my first try at a proper blog, I have signed up for a different one but it was so restrictive and not very user friendly so this is my first real attempt.

It is rainy today.
I feel happy even so, because I just made 10 dollars. >_<
I work for a nice lady, cleaning her house every Monday. Well, I say cleaning, but really it's just very light housework, dusting, wiping her glass table, vacuuming and so on.
I clean other people's places a lot... but do you know I hadn't vacuumed my own flat for over a month? (Until yesterday) Possibly about 3 months. And I hadn't washed my dishes for two weeks...

Why am I writing in this blog?
I think it is because secretly, everyone wants to share their thoughts and feelings with the whole world, but not be judged - no, that isn't quite what I meant. I meant that everyone wants to share their true feelings anonymously, (I hope I spelt that correctly) so that if they are put down or laughed at, they can shrug it off easier because the person who made fun of them doesn't really know who they are at all. It's just another mask or facade to hide behind in this harsh, unforgiving, vicious world. Unfortunately, this feeling of safety is very fragile. I know this as I have experienced the breaking of this feeling very often.

Another reason to have a blog is to be noticed, to have people post on your posts and admire your thoughts, stroke the old ego. I should like that. I'm afraid that I am very proud. I need ego boosting. But I am also painfully truthful. The truth is like an operation, it hurts, but it is necessary. I am not cruel. The person I hurt the most with the truth is myself, I can't hurt others, it is not in my nature, I should like to think.

I'm using this blog to pour out my heart, perhaps in the slightly perverse hope that I can be noticed. I don't like to be noticed much by people face to face, but I do yearn and thirst for acceptance by people who don't know me, and who I may never meet. I think it is natural for human beings to long for acceptance and admiration. I realise this. So I am not going to try to become an obnoxious, odious, nasty person to ward others off, as I did when I was younger. It made me enemies and I lost my friends. I thought it was being 'tough' and 'standing up for myself', but it was not. I became a very unpleasant person, and I am still struggling to regain the last vestiges of my true kind self.

By writing in this blog, I can tell everyone what I think about anything, and nobody will know unless they stumble on this little online diary. I can be an anonymous celebrity, if I can build a little fan base. I have seen blogs which have a fan base. It made me a little jealous and annoyed, because I wish to have people tell me that what I believe and think is profound or the 'right' belief. I know I may be telling you too much, but I have found that if you are honest, people know where they stand with you. Anyway, I couldn't handle sensless flattery, it embarrasses me. I would like to have discussions with people on important things.

As for this blog, I will not stick at it, I can promise you that.
:)
A somewhat odd promise, but I can keep it.
I never stick at online blogs, or clubs or anything like that. I tire of them, but now and then energy surges and I go back to type with fervour.
I have never truly been myself online, because I am afraid that if I am, I will not be accepted.
This has happened before, both online and in the 'real' world.

I will endeavour to be myself all the time. I have made myself this promise. Maybe if I work hard, I will become peaceful. I am trying for that.

I had also better tell you now, to get it over with.
I am a Christian. I do not really have a denomination, but I do go to an Anglican church at the moment. I don't like religon, it traps people into believing in their priests and in their trappings, and in the church's ceremony, not in God.

You should not ask a person for absolution or dispersion of your sins, ask God. A man cannot cleanse you. You should not pray to a statue of Jesus or anyone else, pray to Jesus Himself!
Touching the body of a dead 'saint' will not heal you or help you. A dead 'saint' cannot do anything for you. So many people look at the evangelists and preachers, they look to other people for answers when they need to read the Bible. People would rather watch a movie or video or read 'summaries' of the Bible than read the real thing.

Sorry, got up on the soap box there.

It will happen many more times.

Well, thats enough out of me for today.

I'm not cute or perky or easy on the eyes or ears, but there's too many internet blogs out there which are junk food for the mind, instead of real food.
I'm not saying I'm real food, but I'm more real than a lot of the fluffy blogs out there.
Substance, but not a pretty style.

And I will not apologise for my opinions. If you disagree with me, go ahead and tell me, but do not swear or threaten me. If you make valid points, well, maybe I'm wrong. If you can prove it, take a shot at it. I'm open to a good discussion, not a debate. In a debate, nobody is listening, they're just lining up their next shot.

Oh, also, in case you don't understand Japanese, my blog's name means Genius's Diary.
Its a joke from a long time ago, calling myself genius. But my friend called herself 'Bug' so I guess I chose a fairly flattering name, albeit a gross exaggeration.
:)
God Bless you today.