Aspergers

I think a lot of people may have Aspergers and not know. This is especially the case for women because we have more of a social sense and try harder to fit in. Therefore it is not noticed. We are quite insecure anyway (women, I mean), so we don't really think much of our extra feelings of confusion or guilt or failure which usually accompany Aspergers. As for me, I had suspicions for a year or so (to be honest, about 8 years...)and then I went to see a specialist. He confirmed that yes I do have it and the good news is that I'm high functioning. 'HIGH FUNCTIONING? IS THAT SOME KIND OF JOKE?' I wanted to scream. Is it 'high functioning' if you embarrass yourself constantly (and I mean every day, more than once a day) with social gaffes and if you still can't swim at all or dance a full set without making a mistake? I can't even do aerobics! I'm 29 years old and I have never been in a real relationship. I mean it, not the way women say it so often (meaning that they always pick duds). I mean I have NEVER been able to relate to males well enough to even have a boyfriend or go on a date. Hell, I can't relate to females well either. I can't even relate to myself very well! And I bet people if they even read this (which most may never) would say, 'Yes, but everyone has these kinds of problems.' I'm telling you now, person. You have NO idea. I was so humiliated when I was a child because I couldn't tie my shoelaces. I was not 5. I was not 7. I was about 10 or 11 years old. My sister did it faster and she was four years younger than me. I finally got it but I understand why some people with different types of handicaps just buy velcro shoes or slip ons. I remember. I want to always remember all the pain and the problems. I don't want to forget because if I do, then I will not be able to help anyone who still has those problems. I'm grateful I still have a lot of problems actually, because it enables me to retain some sense of empathy.
Well, thats enough about that for now. I will post more things later because I want to talk about this and I hope if anyone reads it and it helps them somehow then it will be useful.
I hope it is...