This blog is lame. Ha! I'm allowed to say that because I'm the writer.
I have changed. Not a lot, but enough to think my old entries are mostly crap. However if I delete them my blog will be empty... Ah well, best leave it all these I guess.
I'm singing with Hamasaki Ayumi, 'Moments'. Man, she makes me feel... so nostalgic for so many reasons. Well, two main reasons anyway.
La, la la la la la, la la lalalalah... :(
Gragh.... so sad. I'm posting to remind myself what I was, what I had and what I am and have now. This probably won't be my last post, even if I say it is.
I always look down on others for copying popular trends or styles, eg; EMO... but I am the same. I copy Japanese tween styles, and manga. I'm as lame as everyone else. Sometimes I make my own style though. And it's true I prefer the spirit of it rather than the exact look. I'm not a total clone. YESSSS!!!!!
I feel so sad.
I feel... dispirited. Nothing tastes good and nothing feels good. I know this world is empty and can never satisfy me but its hard to experience what I have been taught.
Why is it that the things I always wanted but couldn't have, don't satisfy me when I finally get them? Sometimes I can have something and I don't want it anymore. I hate this! It's evil. One day - we will all be happy and feel satisfied at last. In the mean time, we can only run like ants to and fro. The book of Ecclesiates always cheers me up when I feel this way.
I jump from mood to mood. It causes people to dislike me because I don't hide it, and don't keep my thoughts to myself. Some are amused by it and use me on occasion to talk to until they grow tired of me and send me away.
I'm still angry. A lot of the time, I get angry for no real reason. This causes people to dislike me most of all, or even to fear me? I hope not. I don't want people to fear me. I'm harmless. Maybe.
Lemon mousse with crumble and blueberries
12 years ago
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