On the 11th of the 11th of 2011, at about 11 pm, I was on my way home from a festival and had just finished a delicious hot chocolate from a cafe. I was very pleased with having climbed a hill at night to look at xmas lights and drank my warm drink and basically... all was well with the world at that moment.
Let's see if I can wax more poetically... (to mangle that clique).
The stars were meltingly frosty on that cool Spring evening.
The breeze was a little chilly, but the hot chocolate I drank warmed me from the inside.
My breath was a fine mist on the air, and I could hear the sounds of people and music behind me. It was lovely to be up and alone and watching the tree with its pale lights flashing, knowing that if I should turn around, I would not be alone anymore because there were people just there.
I held onto that for a minute or so, stubbornly trying to wring as much of that feeling out of the time as I could, until I knew I had to go back.
So I turned around and went down the hill again to the car, stumbling a little in the dark on the uneven ground.
It's no good. I try to capture moments, with words or by taking photos or video, but nothing is ever able to show what things are really like. Being there for a fleeting second, feeling and thinking and absorbing the moments are all we can ever have. I have tried in vain to memorise sunsets or whatever else that was beautiful. I wanted to store memories for when I am old and have difficulty seeing. So I can sit back and see with my mind - all the beautiful things I have seen over the years.
I cannot do that. My memory will not allow me to recall things now, but they say when you grow older, you remember more. I hope so. But I must also remember not to try too hard to make memories now, but to enjoy the moments as they come.
I have been to a mountain and snow, and several different beaches, stony, sandy, shelly.
I have been to forests and climbed ranges (small ones). I have climbed dormant volcanoes both during the day and at night. I have seen cities, towns, and all kinds of animals, wild and domestic and in the zoo.
I have petted a stingray's head. I have been friends with/owned ponies, pigs, cats, dogs, rats, guinea pigs, rabbits and mice. I have also owned birds, frogs, turtles, fish and a plecostamus (we called him Mr P).
I have been able to swim in rivers and the sea. I prefer rivers. I have picnicked, lunched, breakfasted, dinnered and had brunch and tea and snacks. I've done a lot! Tried many types of foods.
I've been a worker, a student and unemployed. I dislike being unemployed. I have a job now and I am happy. I've been poor, poorer, broke (as in, paid rent but had no money for food or anything else like toilet paper) but not homeless. I've been doing ok money-wise too. Never been rich in the usual sense, but when you've been close to the bone, you appreciate all money as if you became rich suddenly. I am female, so I can't experience being male. But I am a gamer, a serious one. So that's as close to male as I can get, I suppose. I have the 'g' gene. Haha, I wonder if some people have this 'gamers gene' and some don't. It would explain why some people don't game much.
Anyway, its 6am and I got up too early. Better go get ready for work.
Take care, reader... if you are actually out there. :D
